Hook me up

Controversial Muslim cleric, Abu Hamza, is making a two-week return to Britain this Christmas in order to reprise his role as the nation's favourite pantomime villain.

The Egyptian will be starring as Captain Hook in 'Peter Pan' at the Fairfield Halls, from 23 December 2005 to 7 January 2006.

Hamza's has previous acting experience. He played Rifki in the Oscar-winning film, 'Midnight Express'.

NHS juicy bits

A spokesman for Mellows Park Hospital has announced that due to a mix up in Urology, orange juice will not be on the hospital menu until Friday, at the earliest.

Confusion charge

Part of the Stevie Nicks Centre on Mollison Drive was closed off this morning after a suspect device was found on a car.

Police later identified it as a tax disc.

With or without you

Chinese U2 tribute band, 2U, are coming to Roundshaw!

'City of Brinding Rights' will be performed on Saturday 3 December 2005 at Roundshaw Open Space.

Tickets from £8.

Music to your ears

Customs Officers at Waddon International Airport have intercepted a cargo of counterfeit mp3 players imported from Africa.

A source said the equipment was being sold by a Togoan gang and consumers were unable to distinguish between the bootleg player and Apple's genuine iPod.

Down the pan

The Roundshaw Recorder can exclusively reveal that the toilet from Stafford Road Police Station has been stolen.

At present, detectives have nothing to go on.